Today I had a conversation about ableist language that went something like this:
Me: So using The Condition as a metaphor for something bad doesn’t really work out. Having The Condition is one of the legitimate ways of being human.
Them: I don’t agree with you.
Me: ….
Me: OK, well, you might want people to receive treatment and healing and that’s real. At the same time, it is not OK for you to use The Condition to express that they are worse and you are better.
They: Thanks for sharing.
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Now, Beloveds, let’s just give this consideration.
Let’s acknowledge that while holy impatience is a real part of doing justice work, it can’t be the only way I do things. The ways I reach and work for justice have to be about love, relationships and possibility. So much is possible, so much is at stake that we can do nothing but move, however deliberately, however imperceptibly at times, toward new present-futures. So, as much as I might characterize this kind of conversation as negative, it is simply an opportunity to find out what’s real for another person, another person who has inside them entire universes and a lifetime of experience.
I will take this opportunity to offer a simple framework for language that respects disabled persons, and, in fact, all bodies.
1. All bodies are human. This is what they have in common that makes them good.
This is the part that dominant culture tries to convince you to reject. Dominant culture tries to tell you that there are good bodies and bad ones. The function of a body is something to notice. After all, the person of the body has to deal with the challenges it presents.
Is the function the same as the value? Friends, the way a body functions is not the same as the person who inhabits it. I will write more about this sometime. But I feel that, instinctively, as you distinguish it, you know it to be true. Steven Hawking is not an athlete. It is actually his powers of mathlete that you respect. In that instance, you easily separate the function of his body from the person that he is. If you knew all the people in your path who are differently abled, if you had the chance, you would connect with their humanity in the same way. You would be grateful for the body that allows them to be present with you, even if it doesn’t function as you wish it would.
2. The conditions that people have are personal to them.
Someone may have a disabling condition. Please do not assume that their experience of it is negative. Assuming that their experience is negative is one way in which you can impose the meaning that you impose on someone else’s body. Consider that you have a clearer boundary around lots of other ways that people’s bodies are. You don’t tell people how to dress or what tattoos they can sport. You operate within clear confines of consent when it comes to touching other’s bodies. How is it less significant to assign a meaning to someone else’s body or to judge the value of their physical lived experience? I believe that it is equally significant, perhaps more significant because the value we assign to people determines what we believe is possible for them. It shapes the spaciousness of the world in which they live and in which we participate with them.
3. Your words are one of the tools at your disposal to make justice.
It is not appropriate for you to use someone else’s condition as a metaphor for your own purposes.
All of the metaphors that we use have the possibility of creating more love and more liberation in the world. When we use metaphors of the bodies of others to say that the conditions they have signify inferiority and weakness, we have both transgressed the boundary of the body of another and have also used our words to devalue their physical home and lived experience. We hold the possibility of more: we may, through word, deed, welcome, and commitment to action affirm that each person, regardless of the nature of their ability belongs together with us. I wonder what is possible if we commit to this approach. I am open and excited to find out.
Theresa smiles a little and holds up a piece of paper that says in block letters, "MY BODY IS MINE. THE BODIES OF OTHERS BELONG TO THEM." She has short, dark hair and orange glasses. She is wearing silver hoop earrings and red lip gloss. She has on a lavender shirt.
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